Day 2 is about identifying the link between self-compassion and transformation — and learning how to set goals from a place of ease, acceptance, and freedom.

We often go through our days unaware of how extremely unkind we are to ourselves on a regular basis.

When we miss the mark, even in small ways, we beat ourselves up, go over our mistakes over and over again, and get stuck in exhausting whirlpools of shame.

We say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else, often in totally automatic and unconscious ways.

This is why setting goals without self-compassion is so counter-productive.

When our inner critic is running the show, deep down we never actually believe that we can make a change or that we’re even worthy of good things.

It’s only logical: if you tell someone 50 or 100 times a day that they’re a failure, a screw-up, and a loser — how likely are they to thrive?

This is why even though mindfulness is a quiet practice, it is a mighty one — because its power is in the pause between stimulus and response.

Have you heard of the 1% Principle? It’s the idea that if you are on a long journey and you adjust your course by just 1%, by the end of your journey, you will wind up in a completely different place.

Mindfulness is the 1% Principle at work.

It’s the few deep breaths before the reaction. It’s the gentle question that interrupts the knee-jerk self-criticism.

It’s the moment you adjust the lens through which you’re choosing to view yourself or a situation that can mean the difference between getting stuck in endless loops of negative thinking and breaking free into a new possibility.

Often these adjustments take no more than a few seconds… but they really have the power to create an entirely new reality.

It’s common for people who are new to our community to start with breathing exercises as their entry point into meditation. They are usually between 1 and 5 minutes, you can do them anywhere, and they’re great for grounding you back in your body. We have plenty in the app to choose from, but we’ve also selected one below if you want to give it a try.

1. Identify the thing you want to do.

This can be anything from starting a specific habit (spending time outside every day, starting a meditation practice, etc.) to retraining a way of thinking or acting that’s been unhelpful (learning to speak to yourself with kindness instead of constant disapproval).

Imagine your goal in as much detail as possible. Let yourself experience the anticipation and joy of incorporating this new way of being into your everyday life.

2. Move towards what makes you feel good.

When you think about how you want to reach your goal, move away from things that feel like you’re forcing, fighting, struggling, and striving — and move towards what makes you feel alive, excited, and at ease.

For example, spending time outside can look like walking, running, biking, sitting by the ocean and reading a book, or a thousand other things. You don’t have to pick something that feels like what others are doing. What is drawing you in? What feels pleasurable?

3. Focus on intentionally expressing gratitude for each small step.

Practice being gracious with yourself on hard days. This is very counter-cultural, where only “big wins” count and any backtracking is considered a failure. Mindfulness is a process. It’s normal to have good days and bad days. If you’ve spent 20 or 40 or 60 years building the habit of speaking unkindly to yourself, it’s going to take some time to unwind that — and that’s okay.

The wonderful thing about this approach is that every situation becomes an opportunity to practice fresh awareness and self-love. If you make a mistake and you’re able to respond with self-compassion — that’s great. If you make a mistake and in your frustration you fall back on old habits and think to yourself, What an idiot. Can’t you do anything right? — well, you have a new opportunity to pause, breathe, and offer compassion to your mistake and to your initial response. It’s never too late to invite mindful awareness into the moment, and every time you do it, you’re strengthening that muscle. When it comes to building a habit of self-love, small moments matter.