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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Hey, welcome back to
your Daily Mindfulness.
Today, we're going to talk about
the difference between primary
pain versus secondary pain.
So a while back I spent six months
on a silent meditation retreat.
Although six months in silence
might sound like a vacation,
for me, it was far from it.
There was no reading, writing,
listening to music or contact
with the outside world.
We were sleeping only a few hours
per night, eating two small meals
before 11:00 AM and meditating
between 14 and 18 hours per day.
And the mattresses were, we were
sleeping on, were so thin, you could
squeeze them between your fingers
and feel the bone on the other side.
The austerity of the living conditions
combined with the very intense
meditation schedule created a sheet
of pain in my back that descended
from my neck to the base of my spine.
It was so bad that if I were to take
a deep breath, the movement in my back
would exacerbate the pain and cause it to
radiate around to the front of my body.
Each time feeling like I was
being cattle prodded in the gut.
I didn't think I could last six
months like this and was seriously
considering going home early.
But as I was meditating, I
saw something interesting.
Every time the pain arose my mind
would think, Ugh, this is so terrible.
What's wrong with my body.
Nobody else seems to be
struggling as much as I am.
There's no way I'm going to be
able to do this for six months.
And then something else
interesting happened.
As soon as those thoughts
would arise, they were quickly
accompanied by something else.
Painful emotions, doubt, anger,
sadness, anxiety, despair.
And then as soon as those negative
emotions would arise, I could feel
the physical pain getting worse.
So here I was caught in
this insidious mental loop.
There was physical pain, which triggered
negative thoughts, which triggered painful
emotions, which then made the pain worse.
And although I couldn't do anything
about the physical pain, which is the
primary pain, I could do something
about the thoughts that I was
caking on top of the secondary pain.
And so that's what I started to work on.
I practiced just being more present
with the physical pain itself.
Each time my mind would wander into
thoughts and judgments about the pain,
I would try to smile at it, let the
thoughts go by and then returned to
just being present with the pain itself.
And although it wasn't easy, as soon
as I stopped fueling those negative
thoughts, those thoughts stopped
fueling the emotions, which subsequently
stopped exacerbating the pain.
This was my first experience and
exposure to the difference between
primary pain versus secondary pain.
Did the primary pain go away entirely?
No, but it did reduce radically.
And I saw that I could turn up or down
the amount that I was suffering from it.
So what does this have to do with you?
Oh, maybe you're dealing with
physical pain, like chronic pain,
and this might have some relevance.
But even if you're not, is primary
pain just exclusive to physical pain?
No.
Primary pain represents any sort
of pain that comes up as a part of
being human - a job loss, death of
a loved one, a relationship breakup.
These are natural and a part
of the human experience.
But we often get caught
up in the secondary pains.
The why me, why did God do this to me, how
am I going to be able to go on like this.
And it's often that secondary pain that
creates more suffering in our lives.
So my invitation to you today
is to explore where you might
be creating secondary suffering,
secondary pain in your life.
And what would it be like to just be
present with the experience itself?
Thank you for your practice.
I'll talk to you soon and take care.
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