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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners

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Cory Muscara



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Why We Self-Sabotage

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness.

In today's session, we're going to

discuss why we often self-sabotage

the good things in our life.

First thing to keep in mind is that

your nervous system seeks out what's

familiar, not what's good for you.

It's a confusing thing.

Why do we fall into the same

patterns over and over again?

We know this kind of person isn't

good for us and yet we repeatedly

date people just like them.

It's important to remember that our

nervous systems are often trying to take

us into a space that's familiar, not what

our logical brain thinks is good for us.

In the world of the nervous

system, familiar equals

comfort, and it wants comfort.

So going back to the example above, let's

say you're trying to break the pattern

of falling into abusive relationships.

You know that person isn't good

for you, but you keep going back

to them and people just like them.

Well, ask yourself, did you grow

up around people who were similar?

Were your parents abusive in any way?

Is that sort of person what you're

more familiar with or all, you know?

Did you grow up in a household

that had uncertainty, instability,

noise and maybe chaos?

Perhaps you hated it?

You may have even promised yourself that

you will never live like that again, or

surround yourself with people like that.

However, this is what your nervous

system adapted to as familiar.

It's what it knows.

When there isn't that chaos and

uncertainty, it's a new experience

and it doesn't know as well how to

react or how to be comfortable and

quiet, calm, and even security.

So what happens?

You find someone that is more

grounded and calm, spend some

time with them and then leave.

You know, you usually say they're

boring or it just doesn't feel

right, it's kind of uncomfortable.

But this is your nervous system

trying to get back to what it knows.

There are different ways to break

this pattern, but in general, it's

helping the nervous system adjust

to and appreciate new territory.

And this is one of the powerful

things about meditation.

In meditation, we notice all of our

usual desires, our versions, our

needs and wants and allow ourselves

to find grounding amid all of this.

There's a new peace that arises.

One that is not contingent upon

riding the emotional rollercoaster.

And in the context of our example,

from this new place of peace, you're

more likely to value the company

of someone similar to that, if

that's what you're looking for.

So notice where you might be

getting caught in patterns of

self-sabotage in your own life

and see if you can examine that.

And does it look like your nervous

system might be seeking out what's

familiar rather than what you want.

And practice being with

the thing that you want.

Notice the resistance to it,

maybe some of the discomfort and

just practice settling into it.

Over time, that will become

the nervous system's new

default interest, if you will.

As always, thank you for your practice.

I appreciate your time

and I'll talk to you soon.

Take care.

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