A New Way to Look at Grief

Hi, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about mindfully working through grief. I'd like to read a poem for you by Mary Elizabeth Fry. She says: Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the Swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight, I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there. I did not die. I'm not sure what you're going through right now and how this poem lands for you, but I think it's an invitation for us to explore how we connect with our relationship to others, whether they are here or they've passed. I don't think we have to take the message of this poem literally. Crying, weeping, sadness, grief are all natural and healthy expressions of a loss and are a sign of great love and connection.

I think, however, what Mary is pointing to is that our connection with others often extends beyond their physical form. Who other people are and how we connect with them is bigger and deeper than their physical body and being in close proximity. We're reminded of other people through something we see, something we smell, a taste in food and even through a memory in our thoughts. I think if some of the people I'm most close to in my life and the majority of the time, I'm not in proximity to them. The majority of the time they exist as ideas and memories in my mind and heart.

So as you connect to the people and beings in your life, whether they're still here or they've passed, what would it be like to attune to the many dimensions of this person and the ways you experienced them? Do you experience them with the wind, the diamond glints on snow, the sunlight on ripened grain or the gentle autumn rain? You'll have your own experiences of how you connect. But perhaps what you'll start to see is that even if the person is not there with you right now, they are very much alive in your life. Thank you for your practice. I'll talk to you in meditation and take care.