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A Phrase to Understand Codependence

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Hi, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about co-dependence. We often view co-dependence as a deep pathology. It tends to conjure up ideas of one person taking care of another person in order to feel okay about themselves. But we could see co-dependence in more subtle ways.

Essentially, any form of, I need this person to be this way for me in order for me to feel worthy of love. Through this lens, I think many of us can identify ways when we've had expectations of people that we're based in co-dependence or we did something for someone that maybe had the mask of compassion or kindness, but was actually trying to get a certain response from that person so that we could feel a certain way about ourselves. So that's common. And there's a simple question you can ask to assess if an action is rooted in some form of co-dependence. And the question is, Is this action inspired by love for this person or is it an effort to get love from this person? Of course, it's okay and important to have certain expectations of people, like partners and friends.

That's probably why their close relationships in the first place. We want these people to be a certain way for us. You can state what you feel you need from them in the relationship, especially if it's coming from an aligned place in you, and then let them experience that and decide how they want to be in relationship with it. If they say that that won't work, that whatever you need doesn't work for them, then you need to decide whether that's a deal breaker or you're willing to stay in it. This is two people connecting to and finding their relationship through what is true in each of them.

But, many people fear sharing what is most true or what they deeply need because they either don't trust the other person to be able to hold their truth, or they don't trust themselves to hold their experience of the other person's response to their truth. This is how we end up betraying ourselves and we can easily get caught in subconscious cycles of manipulating the other person to be someone we feel like we want them to be. So this is just something to contemplate in your own relationships and the many different forms that they take. Thank you for your practice and let's settle in for today's meditation.

Cory Muscara

4.7

A Phrase to Understand Codependence

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Duration

Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.

Hi, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about co-dependence. We often view co-dependence as a deep pathology. It tends to conjure up ideas of one person taking care of another person in order to feel okay about themselves. But we could see co-dependence in more subtle ways.

Essentially, any form of, I need this person to be this way for me in order for me to feel worthy of love. Through this lens, I think many of us can identify ways when we've had expectations of people that we're based in co-dependence or we did something for someone that maybe had the mask of compassion or kindness, but was actually trying to get a certain response from that person so that we could feel a certain way about ourselves. So that's common. And there's a simple question you can ask to assess if an action is rooted in some form of co-dependence. And the question is, Is this action inspired by love for this person or is it an effort to get love from this person? Of course, it's okay and important to have certain expectations of people, like partners and friends.

That's probably why their close relationships in the first place. We want these people to be a certain way for us. You can state what you feel you need from them in the relationship, especially if it's coming from an aligned place in you, and then let them experience that and decide how they want to be in relationship with it. If they say that that won't work, that whatever you need doesn't work for them, then you need to decide whether that's a deal breaker or you're willing to stay in it. This is two people connecting to and finding their relationship through what is true in each of them.

But, many people fear sharing what is most true or what they deeply need because they either don't trust the other person to be able to hold their truth, or they don't trust themselves to hold their experience of the other person's response to their truth. This is how we end up betraying ourselves and we can easily get caught in subconscious cycles of manipulating the other person to be someone we feel like we want them to be. So this is just something to contemplate in your own relationships and the many different forms that they take. Thank you for your practice and let's settle in for today's meditation.

Cory Muscara

Cory Muscara

4.7

Duration

Cory Muscara

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