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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners

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Melli O'Brien



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Are You on Your Own Side?

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, we're going to talk

about being on your own side.

So most of us are much better friends to

other people than we are to ourselves.

We treat them with kindness and respect.

We talk to them in a friendly way.

We're encouraging,

sympathetic and supportive.

We care for them, you know, when

they're feeling down or they make

a mistake and we cheer them on

when they go for their goals.

But what kind of friend

are you to yourself?

If you're like most people, you know,

you're probably pretty tough on yourself.

We are often really self critical

and harsh instead of warm and kind.

We're unforgiving and self-doubting

rather than encouraging.

We put ourselves down.

Tell ourselves when not enough.

Point out all of our flaws and mistakes

over and over again, and even call

ourselves names when we make mistakes.

We can really become sometimes our own

worst enemy, really going to war with

ourselves and creating in the process

of that quite a lot of inner tension,

really crushing our self-confidence

and feeling a lot of turmoil.

But I invite you to think

about what it might be like

to really be on your own side.

What would it feel like to

be a friend to yourself?

To speak to yourself mentally like

you would speak to a dear friend,

to encourage your good intentions,

encourage your own dreams, be kind and

compassionate to yourself when you're

sad, hurt, or when you mess something

up, to forgive yourself and nourish your

body and mind out of a sense of care.

Now, sometimes when I talk about this

and people have a lot of resistance

to the idea of being a friend to

themselves and being on their own

side because they kind of have

this subtle thing in the background

that's self-care means selfishness.

You know, that it's really indulgent.

But the reality is, is that being

kind to yourself is good for everyone.

When you're good to yourself, you're

usually less stressed and upset, less

agitated, and you're more present,

calm, healthy, and mentally strong.

So my invitation for you for today is,

if you care to, just seeing if you can

be a little bit more on your own side.

Take some steps to be more of a

friend to yourself instead of a foe.

As Pema Chodron once said, "Be

kind to yourself and then let

that kindness flood the world."

We're going to focus a little bit more

on this theme in today's meditation,

so let's settle in for that.

And as always, thank you for your practice

and your presence here in this community.

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