Changing Critical Self-Talk

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today we're going to talk about changing critical self-talk. So if you're like most people, you know that voice of the inner critic, probably all too well. You know, it's that voice in your head that judges you belittles, you tells you you're not good enough and constantly pushes you to be better. It says things to you that you would never say to anyone else.

Things like I'm such an idiot, or I look horrible in this outfit or I'm stupid. Now whether we like it or not, everything we say to ourselves does affect us. This constant critical inner dialogue can really inhibit us, limit our potential and rob our peace of mind. In more severe cases. It can even lead to serious mental health problems, like anxiety and depression.

Now, many people believe that if they give up harsh self-talk, they won't be motivated to be a good person, to make changes, to achieve goals. But it's important to know that the research from Kristin Neff and Chris Germer from the University of Texas, show it's just the opposite. These are the experts in the field of self-compassion. What they see is that self-limiting or disruptive thought processes like that critical inner voice diminish our motivation and initiative, whereas compassion and kindness actually increase them. So how can we change critical self-talk? Well, according to Dr.

Neff, the first thing is just to give yourself permission to be kind to yourself. In other words, we have to make an active choice to treat ourselves kindly. You know one next step is to start training the inner voice to sound more like a helpful coach or friend rather than a critical bully. So you can deliberately start practicing self-talk that sounds warm, friendly, and kind. Letting your inner voice take on the tone of a supportive friend or coach.

So we're not trying to push away any thoughts here, but rather, just if you catch yourself sounding harsh, that inner voice sounding harsh, no problem. Just see if you can take a bit of a pause and then change the tone back to warm and kind. You might say encouraging things to yourself, like, Hey, good on you for giving that a go honey. Or, that was a really honest thing you did, mate. And of course, if you don't find terms of endearment like honey or mate useful, just drop them.

But look, especially when you're having a hard time, try using the kind of tone of voice that you do use to speak to a loved one who was hurting. Yeah? And say soothing things to yourself, things like, Hey it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes it's just part of being human. Or we might say, Oh, this is a tricky moment.

May I be kind to myself in this tough time. So listen, negative self talk is really never in your own interest. There's always a different, kinder or better way to treat yourself that doesn't involve negative labels or self-destructive storylines. So I invite you to make that choice today to be kinder to yourself. So we're going to explore this a little further in today's meditation.

So invite you to settle in for that now. And as always thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.