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Cory Muscara



Cory Muscara



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Welcome back to your daily mindfulness.

Today, we're going to talk

about self-compassion.

So yesterday, we discussed how we can

easily add another layer of suffering

and pain to our experience by fighting,

resisting, pushing, and judging.

Well, one of the other ways that we

can help combat that or work with that,

I think is a better word, is through

cultivating some self-compassion.

If we're beating ourselves up for having

the experience that we're having, it's

just going to be a very bumpy journey.

So there's something powerful to be said

about cultivating a relationship to our

experience, that's kind, that's warm.

And there's a great researcher, Kristin

Neff, who is probably the world's leading

researcher on cultivating self-compassion.

And she says there are three

things that we need to work with

when it comes to self-compassion.

The first is self-kindness

over self-judgment.

So self-judgment, notice

if that word resonates.

If you ever find yourself caught up in

the internal narrative of what's wrong

with me, why can't I get this right?

Or even I'm an idiot.

It's abrasive.

Rarely would we let someone else

talk to us in that way, but we

tend to get away with it ourselves.

So, self-kindness over self-judgment.

What's it like to have a kinder,

inner narrative to yourself?

It's okay.

You did your best.

Like we're trying, we're human, we're,

we're doing our best to get it right.

We didn't ask for this to happen.

It's just a part of life.

Do you hear or feel

the difference in that?

The self-kindness versus

the self-judgment?

At least for me, even as I'm saying

it, I can feel a difference in my body.

This can go a long way when it

comes to cultivating resilience

during different cold times.

Even though something like self-kindness

doesn't feel like resilience in the

normal way we would think about it.

It allows us to navigate the experience

without creating more suffering.

So self-kindness versus self judgment.

The next thing she talks about is

common humanity versus isolation.

So, the common humanity piece is, is

our ability to see with perspective that

whatever we're going through and whatever

we're experiencing in relationship to

it, is a part of the human experience.

Everyone goes through this.

Everyone has difficult thoughts.

Everyone has difficult experiences.

Everyone gets confused, has doubt,

is unsure what they're supposed to

do next at some point in their lives.

This is just what it means to be human.

But a lot of times we isolate.

We take it personally.

We say, you know, woe is me, or we

get caught up in self-pity, or this

is just something I go through.

That, that isolation is, is limiting.

And it's painful because it leads

to more of the self-judgment

that we just talked about.

So this common humanity just broadens

our perspective, opens our heart,

allows us to connect to the reality that

this is not an individual experience.

Which takes us to the last one,

mindfulness over self-identification.

When we get so caught up in

self-identification with the

thoughts of, these are my thoughts,

or I'm the one thinking this, or

I'm the one having these emotions.

On one level, it's kind of true.

On another level, these

things are just arising.

And we can hold them in our awareness with

that perspective of not getting so sucked

into the content, rather just observing.

Oh, Look at this thought right

now, look at this emotion, look at

this sensation, look at this pain.

This is what it's like to

hold this moment as it is.

So these three things, can we cultivate

them to deepen our self-compassion?

More self-kindness, seeing the common

humanity and cultivating mindfulness.

We'll talk more about this

in today's meditation.

Thank you for your practice

and I'll talk to you soon.

Take care.

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