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Don’t Be Afraid of Anger

Melli O'Brien



Melli O'Brien



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Don’t Be Afraid of Anger

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Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, I'm going to talk about anger.

So anger is a perfectly

natural part of being human.

It's designed to alert us to

threats and potential injuries

and mobilize us to do something to

protect and stand up for ourselves.

But out of all of the emotions

that we feel as we go about daily

life, anger is surely one of

the trickiest ones to deal with.

I know it definitely is for me.

I mean, first of all, many of

us, myself included, can be

prone to suppressing anger.

But anger can be a really great teacher

and when we suppress it, we can't learn

from what it has to teach or show us.

Anger can help us to see where our

boundaries might've been crossed, where

our needs are not being met or where we're

not being treated with the respect and

kindness that we would really like to be.

So it's really important to recognize

anger when it arises, let yourself

feel it instead of suppressing it,

and then explore what it's telling you

about what's not working for you and

what you would like to do about it.

Then you're in a position to take

empowered, intelligent action to change

things in your life for the better.

So for instance, you know, you

might want to have a talk with

somebody about a behavior that's

really having an impact on you.

And you can do that in a

really kind and clear way.

You can choose for instance, to

say no to that extra workload that

your boss is trying to give you.

You can take action in the form

of standing up for injustice.

Standing up against bullying or

governments and corporations acting in

ways that are harmful or oppressive.

So it's not easy to know always

exactly what to do with the anger.

You know, sometimes it's just

not that simple, but try to slow

things down when you feel anger.

Stay in touch with what you're feeling

in a mindful way so that you can think

more clearly and stay curious about what

you might be able to do to take wise

action, to look after yourself and others.

This all being said, be wary of how anger

can really hijack your mind and infect

your thoughts with fear-based kind of

thinking, attack and defense narratives.

It can give rise to ill will and

resentment, justifications, rigid position

of like, I'm right and they're wrong.

I'm good and they're bad, or that feeling

of wanting to lash out and cause harm.

The reality is agency ,fierce

compassion, empowered action, expressing

boundaries, speaking out about

injustice - none of these requires

aggression, hatred or ill will.

All can be done with

wisdom, clarity, and love.

So don't be afraid of your anger.

The next time it arises, acknowledge

it, befriend it, learn from it

and let it be a protective and

mobilizing force for positive change

in your life and in the world.

As always, thank you for your practice

and your presence here with us.

And let's settle in now

for today's practice.

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