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Melli O'Brien



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Easing Self Improvement Overload

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your daily mindfulness.

Today we're going to talk about

easing self-improvement overload.

So we're often trying to fix

or change every single aspect

of ourselves and our lives.

And that's tempting to spend almost all

of our time relating to life in this

way, you know, trying to fix all these

different parts of ourselves and our life.

If I can just fix my

body by doing this plan.

If I get to just fix my personality

by employing these techniques.

If I can just fix my relationship by

applying this particular strategy.

So there's this kind of unconscious

assumption underneath that once

we solve and fix it all, we're

going to be finally happy.

But what actually tends to happen

is that when we get to our goal, our

mind just comes up with new problems

and changes and fixes that it thinks

need to happen for you to be happy.

Have you ever noticed that in your own

life, it's just kind of like never enough.

The truth is, is that the human mind

evolved to help us survive and to

do that the mind had to constantly

problem solve and fix things.

The mind is essentially

a problem solving organ.

And in the caveman days, life was

really difficult and dangerous.

So our minds evolved to be kind

of constantly problem solving.

So always looking for ways to kind of

fix or change or plan things because

that helped our ancestors survive.

But these days it's really leading many

of us to feel constantly deficient.

It kind of keeps us on these treadmill

of constantly trying to be better

and prove ourselves and we just don't

let ourselves simply be and relax.

So through mindfulness, we're

able to step back from and see

beyond this habit of the mind.

And what we come to realize that

life is not a problem to be solved.

It's an experience to be lived.

So there's a shift in perception

where we see that our experience of

life is not determined so much by

getting all the parts of our life

sorted out, but by changing the

lens through which we look at life.

So gradually we learn to let go of

always trying to fix, solve, improve

everything, and instead we learn to

cultivate our ability to meet life with

acceptance, kindness, and awareness.

The paradox is when we let go of

what some people call this subtle

aggression of self-improvement

and embrace more self acceptance,

and open-heartedness towards life.

The happiness we were seeking

often comes rushing into our life

like lungs full of fresh air.

Of course, this doesn't mean that we

can't have goals and move towards them,

but rather that we do those things

from an inner state of wholeness and

ease rather than lack and deficiency.

So we'll be cultivating this ability more

and more with every meditation that we do.

So on that note, just inviting you

to settle in for today's practice and

as always thank you for your practice

and your presence here with us.

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