Browse
Top articles
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
00:00
00:00
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, we're going to talk about holding the pain of others. So I'm curious, have you ever had the experience of talking to someone about your pain or your suffering, but the other person was so uncomfortable with witnessing your pain that they didn't really listen. They couldn't really be there for you fully and give empathy because they were so rattled by what you were saying. In these moments, the other person may try to change the topic, give you some advice, or even invalidate your pain by saying things like it's not that big a deal or telling you to get over it or move on, or they may even make an excuse to leave.
We may have had this done to us, or we may be recognizing in this moment that this is something we may have done to another. So why is learning to hold the pain of others so important? One of the things that we all really most long for is to feel received and seen by others. It's an enormous source of comfort and self-regulation when we have someone supportive by our side when we're suffering. And turning that around, your openness to another person, your willingness to be with them and be moved by their struggles is one of the greatest gifts that you can give someone when they're in pain. So how can we learn to hold the pain of others in an open hearted way while also staying balanced, steady, and grounded in our own being, you know, not losing ourselves in this suffering? So, first of all, just letting the other person's pain touch your heart and move you.
Instead of trying to resist the feeling, see if you can stay attuned to a person as they're speaking and to whatever emotions come up for you both, just being really present with that. And second, just having a sense of meeting the other person's pain with active compassion. So it's as if you could imagine wrapping their pain in your loving kindness. Really allowing yourself to feel the love behind the genuine wish for this other person's suffering to be eased for them to be happy. So whilst the empathy, which is the ability to feel with the other, while that on its own can sometimes feel really overwhelming for some people, we can feel a bit rattled and lost in it, compassion fills our own mind and heart with feelings of love and warmth and tenderness, even while feeling that little bit of pain and while feeling the other person's pain.
So it's as if the pain is then surrounded by this soothing, warm embrace of compassion. If we can learn to be more present, open and compassionate when other people are in pain, we can also be more supportive and helpful as well. And we can bring the light of healing and comfort and love into the darkest of times. I wish you well with this practice. And as always, thank you for your practice and for being here in this community.
Let's settle in for today's meditation.
Holding the Pain of Others
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, we're going to talk about holding the pain of others. So I'm curious, have you ever had the experience of talking to someone about your pain or your suffering, but the other person was so uncomfortable with witnessing your pain that they didn't really listen. They couldn't really be there for you fully and give empathy because they were so rattled by what you were saying. In these moments, the other person may try to change the topic, give you some advice, or even invalidate your pain by saying things like it's not that big a deal or telling you to get over it or move on, or they may even make an excuse to leave.
We may have had this done to us, or we may be recognizing in this moment that this is something we may have done to another. So why is learning to hold the pain of others so important? One of the things that we all really most long for is to feel received and seen by others. It's an enormous source of comfort and self-regulation when we have someone supportive by our side when we're suffering. And turning that around, your openness to another person, your willingness to be with them and be moved by their struggles is one of the greatest gifts that you can give someone when they're in pain. So how can we learn to hold the pain of others in an open hearted way while also staying balanced, steady, and grounded in our own being, you know, not losing ourselves in this suffering? So, first of all, just letting the other person's pain touch your heart and move you.
Instead of trying to resist the feeling, see if you can stay attuned to a person as they're speaking and to whatever emotions come up for you both, just being really present with that. And second, just having a sense of meeting the other person's pain with active compassion. So it's as if you could imagine wrapping their pain in your loving kindness. Really allowing yourself to feel the love behind the genuine wish for this other person's suffering to be eased for them to be happy. So whilst the empathy, which is the ability to feel with the other, while that on its own can sometimes feel really overwhelming for some people, we can feel a bit rattled and lost in it, compassion fills our own mind and heart with feelings of love and warmth and tenderness, even while feeling that little bit of pain and while feeling the other person's pain.
So it's as if the pain is then surrounded by this soothing, warm embrace of compassion. If we can learn to be more present, open and compassionate when other people are in pain, we can also be more supportive and helpful as well. And we can bring the light of healing and comfort and love into the darkest of times. I wish you well with this practice. And as always, thank you for your practice and for being here in this community.
Let's settle in for today's meditation.
Available everywhere.
Access on the web or in our mobile app.
Duration
Available everywhere.
Access on the web or in our mobile app.
Play in-app
Scan the following QR code with your camera app to open it on our mobile app
Already purchased?
Get Unlimited Access
A Mindfulness Plus+ subscription gives you unlimited access to a world of premium mindfulness content.
Email Missing
We couldn’t detect your email with the SSO provider you have selected.We are here to make a positive impact on the world. We never want to sell you something that hasn’t helped you live a better life. That’s why if you’re unhappy with any purchase from us, you have 30 days to get a full refund and your money back.
If you subscribed to Mindfulness Plus+ and are unhappy with your purchase, please get in contact with us within the 30-day period and we’ll refund your purchase.
Learn more about our Mindfulness Guarantee.
Mindfulness
We believe in a world where everybody has access to the life-changing skills of mindfulness.
Private Browsing
Congratulations on taking the first step towards a more mindful life! As a token of our appreciation, we want to offer you an exclusive opportunity to upgrade to Mindfulness Plus+ for a price you won't find anywhere else.
Mindfulness Plus+ is our premium membership that includes everything you need to learn mindfulness and keep practicing throughout all stages of life.
Take this exclusive offer to further your mindfulness skills and experience deeper levels of well-being.
Annual membership
$0
Just a small sample of the life-changing 5-star reviews we get on a daily basis.
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
Claim your free access
Create a mindfulness account and we’ll unlock this premium session in your account forever.
7-Days free trial, cancel anytime.
Complete a few quick questions to make your own personalized mindfulness plan.