How to Develop True Confidence

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. You know, there's a lot of misconceptions about confidence. People sometimes assume it's a product of achieving something really impressive, having nice things or looking a certain way. And some people kind of try to talk themselves into confidence by thinking a lot of positive thoughts. But the thing is, is that both of those kinds of confidence are both artificial and shaky.

I mean, what if your looks change? What if you don't achieve a particular goal? And what happens when you compare yourself to somebody else who seems better than you? And as for thinking positive thoughts, well, it might seem like a good thing, but in the end it doesn't actually give us a lasting sense of self-worth. And the problem is with these kinds of thoughts is that they often create this mask that we present to the world, blocking our ability to relax and show up as our authentic selves and have genuine connection with others. Artificial confidence, when it really comes down to it, is often about trying to get a sense of approval and self-worth from outside ourselves from others. But there is another kind of confidence available to us. One that's cultivated from within and can be carried with you wherever you go.

And perhaps counter-intuitively this kind of confidence requires letting go of the habit of trying to impress other people and get their approval. That means taking your mask off, letting the walls down and embracing authenticity, vulnerability, and courage. And when we do that, we discover our true confidence. And so the word confidence comes from the Latin word confidere, which means to have full trust. So we're learning to trust ourselves and trust our basic worthiness instead of trying to get it from outside of ourselves.

And when we let go of the idea that our self-worth needs to be earned, bought, or begged for, we see that we don't have to fit in or stand out to be enough. So here's the takeaway. The more we let go over the stories and strategies to get love and approval from others, the more we begin to trust our own worthiness and feel true confidence. And because this kind of confidence is not separate from who we are, it doesn't depend on anything outside of ourselves, we can't lose it. It's unwavering.

And we carry that confidence with us wherever we go.