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Melli O'Brien



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Letting Go of a Grudge

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, I'm going to talk

about letting go of a grudge.

So we've all had times where

somebody said or done something

that we felt really hurt by.

You know, so very often when this

happens, what we tend to do is we

tend to just continue carrying around

this hurt and anger inside of us.

So, you know, there might've been

the initial event that happened,

but then in our minds we continue

mulling over it, fanning the flames

of resentment, anger within us

and keeping that heartache alive.

And we can kind of harden our hearts

into having a grudge with this person.

Sometimes we might keep carrying a

grudge by the way for, we carry it with

us for two years, 10 years, 20 years,

still walking around thinking about that

person, what they did to us, playing it

over and over again in the mind, getting

more angry, thinking how wrong they were

and holding this ill will towards them.

And as we travel through life, you know,

I think it's really important to remember

that difficulty and misunderstandings

and disagreements with other people.

It's a pretty inevitable part of life.

And we are not ourselves angels.

We make mistakes too.

We let people down.

We hurt other people, even if it

wasn't our intention to do so.

We can't really avoid these things.

But what we can do is choose not

to carry the grudges with us.

So we can begin to let go

of grudges in three ways.

First is to see the

situation with understanding.

And we try to understand why that person

might have did, or said what they did.

Try to see things from their

perspective and understand what

might've been going on with them.

Second, is to simply make

space for imperfection.

Make room for the people in your

life to have flaws and moments

when they're not at their best.

Now this doesn't mean excusing

unacceptable behavior, and

just putting up with things

that are, for instance harmful.

But it does mean recognizing

that none of us are perfect.

And just seeing, if you can bring

a bit more acceptance to that.

Three, make the choice to forgive.

Now, forgiveness is not meant at all to

negate, deny or minimize what happened.

It's simply the choice to let go of

carrying the hostility we're hanging on.

So that's the invitation for today.

If you find yourself feeling a

grudge towards another person,

make understanding, accepting,

and forgiveness your intention.

For as you let go of resentment

towards another, you find

greater peace within yourself.

As always, thank you for your practice

and your presence here with us.

And let's settle in

for today's meditation.

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