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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.
Today I'm going to talk
about letting go of blame.
So we've probably all experienced
times where we feel hurt,
disappointment and our first instinct
is to start pointing the finger.
This is blame.
And we've all done.
It we've all been there.
It's the habit of making other people
or other things wrong or responsible
when difficult or painful things happen.
So according to research, professor,
author, and speaker, Brené Brown, we
mostly blame when we're in pain or angry.
And she says, "Here's what we know
from the research, blame is simply the
discharging of discomfort and pain.
And it has an inverse
relationship with accountability.
Blaming is a way we
mainly discharge anger."
So the problem with blaming is two-fold.
Firstly as Brené mentions here, blame has
what she calls an inverse relationship
with accountability, which means when
we're stuck in blaming, we get defensive.
And so we miss out on an opportunity
to look honestly and gently at
ourselves and the part that we had
to play in things and how we might
learn and grow from all of this.
Instead what we do in our minds,
we do this kind of thing where we
create wrongdoers and rightdoers,
and this kind of black and white.
And we might even feel
justified to punish and attack.
We'll get revenge on the other side.
We also get stuck in as you know,
a lot of negativity and anger.
Second problem with blaming is we
also miss out on the possibility of
having an honest, open and empathetic
conversation to hold people accountable
for their actions and ask for change.
So holding people accountable takes
a lot more grit, courage, kindness,
and self-awareness than blaming,
shaming, attacking or fault finding.
So here's the takeaway.
The moment that we place blame, we
also undermine our resolve to create
change both within and without.
So it's fundamentally a really
disempowering thing to do to ourselves.
In the words of Andy Stanley, "People
who blame things, rarely change things.
Blame is an unassailable
change avoidance strategy."
But the moment we take back our
personal responsibility, we also
take back our power because we are
grounding ourselves here in presence,
compassion, integrity, and acceptance.
And when we take action from that state
of being, we get a whole different result.
And, you know, I know this is not easy.
I can attest to that firsthand.
But I can also attest to the fact
that it's incredibly empowering,
loving, and healing to take
back our power in this way.
So by stepping out of the blame game,
we break the cycle of attack and
defense, promote peace within ourselves,
with each other and with the world.
So the next time you feel that urge to
place blame, just seeing, if you can
take a pause, take a gentle look at what
part you might've had to play in things
and be curious and open to how you might
learn and grow from the experience.
And if communication is needed with the
other person, go ahead and do that with
compassion and clarity and non-judgment,
and open-heartedness as best you can.
It's a practice.
So in today's meditation,
we'll continue to cultivate
this attitude of non-judgment.
So I invite you to settle in for that now.
And as always, thank you
sincerely for doing this work.
Thank you for your practice and
for your presence here with us.
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