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Melli O'Brien



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No Destination

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, I'm going to talk about

the philosophy of no destination.

So I think when many of us come to

the practice of mindfulness, we have

these idea, either consciously or

unconsciously, of fixing or perfecting

ourselves, like we're going to get

to this destination where we're going

to get it all together and everything

will be perfect from them on.

Of course, this is an idea that many of

us also have in our general lives, too.

Most of us spend actually an enormous

amount of energy and time trying

to be somebody better, trying to

be something more, trying to fix

ourselves or complete ourselves.

Really having this idea that when

we get there, where whatever our

version of there is, that's when

we're going to be finally whole.

But mindfulness does this kind of bait

and switch thing on you, where you come

to mindfulness thinking in the back

of your head in some way that you're

deficient and that you need fixing.

And mindfulness says back,

Hey, you're not broken.

You don't need fixing.

So let's change the focus from thinking

there's something wrong with you that

needs fixing to learning, to love and

accept yourself and you're life, just

as it is, just as you are right now.

So to be clear, what I'm not saying is

that we should give up all our attempts to

improve ourselves or our quality of life.

It's wonderful to have this

ability, for instance, to create

goals and move towards them.

But what I'm specifically talking about

here is our mental dialogue and our way

of relating to ourselves in general.

So, you know, if we're always

criticizing ourselves, pointing out

our flaws, putting ourselves down,

wishing that we were different or

better, then when do we ever get to

feel like we're enough just as we are?

When do we ever get to stop

waging battle with ourselves and

allow ourselves to be in peace?

You know, I've trained in mindfulness

in a pretty intensive and dedicated

way over the years, the decades.

And I certainly haven't ended up in

some kind of perfected state where

I feel only pleasant emotions, and

I have no difficulties in my life.

Not at all.

Do I suffer in stress a

lot less than I used to?


Do I have a deeper sense of meaning,

connection and peace in my life?

A hundred percent.

And I also still struggle sometimes

and I deal with messy, painful

things and not always gracefully.

I still mess up.

I'm still learning so much and evolving.

If anything, after all these years, what

I see more clearly and accept now is that

that's just not how human life works.

There's no perfected state that

we're going to reach where it all

just comes together and nothing

messy or hard ever happens.

We're not going to live in bliss.

There's no destination.

But if we can learn to unwind the

idea of reaching some future perfected

state and appreciate who we are in

this moment, we really learned to feel

much more at home within our own skin,

within our own mind, and ultimately

within the journey of our own lives.

So today, if you care to, if this

resonates with you, see if you

can remember and hold close the

philosophy of no destination.

As always, thank you for your

practice and your presence here.

And let's settle in

for today's meditation.

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