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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I want to talk about taking things personally. So I want you to imagine for a second that you're having a relaxing picnic with a friend on a warm spring day and you go for a swim. And then when you come back to the picnic, you suddenly see that the whole picnic spread is all over the grass. The wine is spilled.
The food is all over the place. And as you run back towards the picnic area to see what happened, what do you see? Some people had snuck up to the picnic, flipped over the picnic blanket, thrown everything around as a practical joke on you. And now they're laughing at you from behind some trees. How do you feel? Okay. So now imagine go back to the start, the exact same situation again.
You're at the picnic. It's a lovely day. You go to have a swim. You come back and again, you see the food and wine spilled all over the place. And what do you realize? A strong wind had blown all the blankets everywhere and thrown all of the picnic all over the place.
This time, how do you feel? So the end result is the same in both cases. Wine is spilled, food's all over the place, picnic is ruined. But when you feel personally targeted, it's a lot more aggravating and upsetting, right? If you think about it though, in both cases, it's not personal, in the sense that whatever's going on inside the people who ruined the picnic has been set in motion by a stream of thousands of causes and effects that preceded this event. The upbringing of those people, the stresses in their lives, their health or lack thereof, the movies and marketing they've seen, and so many more tiny little causes and effects that linked in a big chain to that moment of choice to throw the picnic blanket. In a way it's not any more personal than all of the causes and effects that would set that breeze in motion that day, that also leads to the same outcome.
So we tend to do take a lot of other people's behavior quite personally, right? Whether it's someone who pulls out in front of us in traffic, a rude comment by a shop clerk, a friend who doesn't turn up to dinner on time or a partner who doesn't take out the garbage. And when we do that, we often feel really aggravated, hurt and angry when we take things personally. But instead of taking things personally, we can consider what may have been the causes that led to this person's behavior. Perhaps they have stress, pain, or worries in their life. Maybe they're having a bad day, maybe their particular upbringing or personality or past experiences mean they see the world really differently to you.
Maybe you haven't communicated to them clearly, or there's been some kind of misunderstanding. So in other words, just recognizing that other people's actions have been set in motion by a constellation of causes, much of which is actually beyond even their conscious control. And it really truly is not personal. It's not about you. So when you do this, you put the situation in context.
You become less reactive, more clear headed, so you can take any appropriate action if needed. So today, see if you can take things a little less personally, so you can live with a little more ease, awareness and compassion. So let's settle in now for today's meditation. And as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.
Nothing Is Personal
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I want to talk about taking things personally. So I want you to imagine for a second that you're having a relaxing picnic with a friend on a warm spring day and you go for a swim. And then when you come back to the picnic, you suddenly see that the whole picnic spread is all over the grass. The wine is spilled.
The food is all over the place. And as you run back towards the picnic area to see what happened, what do you see? Some people had snuck up to the picnic, flipped over the picnic blanket, thrown everything around as a practical joke on you. And now they're laughing at you from behind some trees. How do you feel? Okay. So now imagine go back to the start, the exact same situation again.
You're at the picnic. It's a lovely day. You go to have a swim. You come back and again, you see the food and wine spilled all over the place. And what do you realize? A strong wind had blown all the blankets everywhere and thrown all of the picnic all over the place.
This time, how do you feel? So the end result is the same in both cases. Wine is spilled, food's all over the place, picnic is ruined. But when you feel personally targeted, it's a lot more aggravating and upsetting, right? If you think about it though, in both cases, it's not personal, in the sense that whatever's going on inside the people who ruined the picnic has been set in motion by a stream of thousands of causes and effects that preceded this event. The upbringing of those people, the stresses in their lives, their health or lack thereof, the movies and marketing they've seen, and so many more tiny little causes and effects that linked in a big chain to that moment of choice to throw the picnic blanket. In a way it's not any more personal than all of the causes and effects that would set that breeze in motion that day, that also leads to the same outcome.
So we tend to do take a lot of other people's behavior quite personally, right? Whether it's someone who pulls out in front of us in traffic, a rude comment by a shop clerk, a friend who doesn't turn up to dinner on time or a partner who doesn't take out the garbage. And when we do that, we often feel really aggravated, hurt and angry when we take things personally. But instead of taking things personally, we can consider what may have been the causes that led to this person's behavior. Perhaps they have stress, pain, or worries in their life. Maybe they're having a bad day, maybe their particular upbringing or personality or past experiences mean they see the world really differently to you.
Maybe you haven't communicated to them clearly, or there's been some kind of misunderstanding. So in other words, just recognizing that other people's actions have been set in motion by a constellation of causes, much of which is actually beyond even their conscious control. And it really truly is not personal. It's not about you. So when you do this, you put the situation in context.
You become less reactive, more clear headed, so you can take any appropriate action if needed. So today, see if you can take things a little less personally, so you can live with a little more ease, awareness and compassion. So let's settle in now for today's meditation. And as always, thank you for your practice and your presence here with us.
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Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
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Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
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I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
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