Self-Control Technique

Hi, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, I'm going to share a self-control strategy called 'take 3 plus 10,' Regardless of what you do in life, you can always benefit from a little more self-control. We don't want to constantly be confining ourselves and never being spontaneous, but a bit of self-control helps us do what we do well. And also prevents us from following sometimes that negative impulses that inevitably arise in our mind and body as human beings. A lot of times with self-control, our tendency is to grit our teeth and that's not always the best strategy and often causes more tension.

But relaxing into the discomfort of wanting to respond a certain way and creating a short pause can be really effective for letting the energy of that impulse start to soften. And that's where take 3 plus 10 comes in. It's pretty simple. It involves taking three breaths and then counting to 10. As you can imagine, this can't work in every context.

So if you're in a difficult conversation and you notice you're yourself wanting to say something you shouldn't, it's probably going to be hard to say, Hey, wait a second. I need to take 3 plus 10. But this can be really good if you know, you want to reach for the cookies, which is my negative impulse. I can take three breaths, wait 10 seconds. And usually during that period of time, it's enough for the energy of that impulse to soften.

So let's try it together. We'll take three breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. One more. Out. One more.

Out. Now we'll wait for ten, nine, eight, seven, six ,five, four, three, two, one. Cool. That's it. Now this works better when you do have an impulse at play.

So try this out in real life. I think you'll, you'll find some value to it as always. Thank you for your practice. I'll talk to you more in the meditation and take care.