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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners

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Melli O'Brien



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Shut Nobody Out of Your Heart

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, I'm going to talk

about keeping your heart open.

So to explore what this might

mean for you let's first

explore how we close our hearts.

So for most of us, the majority

of irritations, anger, hurt

and disappointments typically

arise in relation to others.

Sometimes we can work through

those situations, talk things

out, find an amicable way forward.

But there are also situations where

we try to set boundaries or propose

a fair solution or make amends, but

the behavior of the other person is

disappointing or it doesn't change.

When this happens.

This is when we often have a sense of

closing our hearts to the other person.

In other words, we hold

a grievance against them.

There's a sense of making our minds

up about them and then resenting them.

But what are the results of doing that?

Like closing our own hearts brings

about feelings of tension, heaviness,

or hardness into our mind and our body.

It brings us more negative,

more reactive sort of behaviors.

And so we're more likely to

say or do things we might later

regret in response to that person.

Now, of course, it's sometimes, really

is the most helpful and effective

thing to hang up the phone, block

someone on social media, or in some

cases you might even need to completely

distance yourself from someone who's

really causing you a lot of distress.

But as a general rule, even when

all of that is happening, you don't

need to close your heart to anyone.

So when we feel the urge to close down,

we can stay open-hearted in three ways.

First, we can shift the way we think.

So instead of concluding that this

person is just no good, remembering

that we all make mistakes.

Life has probably been hot on this

other person too and they have their own

conditioning and troubles to deal with.

They may well have had good

intentions and they may also be

struggling in their own ways.

Second thing that we can

change is the way we feel.

We can choose to respond to the

situation and the person with

compassion, patience, and wisdom.

Now this doesn't mean

that we become a doormat.

Not at all.

We can still be firm, clear and

ask for boundaries to be set with

others, but without the need for

tipping into resentment and ill will.

The third thing is to reflect

on our own part in things.

So we can ask ourselves, given that

things have become difficult with

this person, are there things that

we may have done that have prompted

the other person to act this way?

Whatever the lessons that are there,

there's no need to judge yourself about

it, but just instead, focusing on anything

you can learn and see differently.

So keeping your heart open may

or may not mean that you change

anything at all in your behavior,

but either way you will have shed

a lot of heaviness and negativity.

So you'll feel a little better

and brighter as a result.

I hope you found this helpful

and as always, thank you for your

practice and your presence here.

Let's settle in for today's meditation.

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