Browse
Top articles
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
00:00
00:00
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about what David Richo calls the five givens of life. So in his book, The Five Things We Cannot Change, David Richo states that there are five inescapable givens of human experience. They are: one, everything changes and ends; two, things don't always go according to our plans; three, life isn't always fair; four, pain is a part of life; and five, people are not loving and loyal all the time. Now you might be thinking to yourself at this point, "Well, thanks for the inspiring lesson today, Melli." You know, but hear me out.
I think David's message in this book is a really beautiful and valuable one because he points out that struggling against the five givens of life is what leads to a lot of our suffering, our stress and our disappointments in life. But if we can learn to really bring an unconditional acceptance, an unconditional yes to these givens of life, accepting them and embracing life just as it is, then we can discover new degrees of freedom and peace of mind. There is a Zen practice that David offers us in the book, which helps us to bring about this unconditional yes to life in the moments when we're faced with the givens. It's to ask ourselves the question, this being the case, how shall I proceed? So when the givens come up, this being the case, how shall I proceed? This question helps us bring a certain amount of acceptance to what is. The first part of the sentence that this being the case is kind of like saying, okay, I accept that this is how it is right now.
And how shall I proceed is a way of asking ourselves, okay, how would I like to intentionally respond to this? It gives us a chance to tune into our values and then respond from that place rather than out of reactivity or mental struggles. So there you are, and somebody lets you down. They did something they said they wouldn't do. Instead of going into the mind and kind of ruminating about how this shouldn't be happening or how could they, or why me or how catastrophic it is. Instead you could try this being the case, how shall I proceed? So you accept that these things do happen and then decide what's the best course of action that aligns with your values.
What's the best thing for you. Now, I don't offer you this as some kind of magic bullet practice that's going to take away all the difficulties in life. The givens when they arise are not easy and they can be really painful. But what this practice can offer you is a way not to add more suffering and mental struggles on top of what you're already facing. And it can really ground you in presence, wisdom, and calm right there in the middle of it all.
So if this sounds like it could be valuable, I encourage you to give it a try when you're faced with loss, disappointment, heartache, or pain. This being the case, how shall I proceed? May it bring you ease and strength in those times. Thank you for your practice. Let's settle in for meditation.
The Five Givens of Life
Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:
Duration
Your default time is based on your progress and is changed automatically as you practice.
Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today, I'm going to talk about what David Richo calls the five givens of life. So in his book, The Five Things We Cannot Change, David Richo states that there are five inescapable givens of human experience. They are: one, everything changes and ends; two, things don't always go according to our plans; three, life isn't always fair; four, pain is a part of life; and five, people are not loving and loyal all the time. Now you might be thinking to yourself at this point, "Well, thanks for the inspiring lesson today, Melli." You know, but hear me out.
I think David's message in this book is a really beautiful and valuable one because he points out that struggling against the five givens of life is what leads to a lot of our suffering, our stress and our disappointments in life. But if we can learn to really bring an unconditional acceptance, an unconditional yes to these givens of life, accepting them and embracing life just as it is, then we can discover new degrees of freedom and peace of mind. There is a Zen practice that David offers us in the book, which helps us to bring about this unconditional yes to life in the moments when we're faced with the givens. It's to ask ourselves the question, this being the case, how shall I proceed? So when the givens come up, this being the case, how shall I proceed? This question helps us bring a certain amount of acceptance to what is. The first part of the sentence that this being the case is kind of like saying, okay, I accept that this is how it is right now.
And how shall I proceed is a way of asking ourselves, okay, how would I like to intentionally respond to this? It gives us a chance to tune into our values and then respond from that place rather than out of reactivity or mental struggles. So there you are, and somebody lets you down. They did something they said they wouldn't do. Instead of going into the mind and kind of ruminating about how this shouldn't be happening or how could they, or why me or how catastrophic it is. Instead you could try this being the case, how shall I proceed? So you accept that these things do happen and then decide what's the best course of action that aligns with your values.
What's the best thing for you. Now, I don't offer you this as some kind of magic bullet practice that's going to take away all the difficulties in life. The givens when they arise are not easy and they can be really painful. But what this practice can offer you is a way not to add more suffering and mental struggles on top of what you're already facing. And it can really ground you in presence, wisdom, and calm right there in the middle of it all.
So if this sounds like it could be valuable, I encourage you to give it a try when you're faced with loss, disappointment, heartache, or pain. This being the case, how shall I proceed? May it bring you ease and strength in those times. Thank you for your practice. Let's settle in for meditation.
Duration
Play in-app
Scan the following QR code with your camera app to open it on our mobile app
Get Unlimited Access
A Mindfulness Plus+ subscription gives you unlimited access to a world of premium mindfulness content.
Email Missing
We couldn’t detect your email with the SSO provider you have selected.We are here to make a positive impact on the world. We never want to sell you something that hasn’t helped you live a better life. That’s why if you’re unhappy with any purchase from us, you have 30 days to get a full refund and your money back.
If you subscribed to Mindfulness Plus+ and are unhappy with your purchase, please get in contact with us within the 30-day period and we’ll refund your purchase.
Learn more about our Mindfulness Guarantee.
Mindfulness
We believe in a world where everybody has access to the life-changing skills of mindfulness.
Private Browsing
Congratulations on taking the first step towards a more mindful life! As a token of our appreciation, we want to offer you an exclusive opportunity to upgrade to Mindfulness Plus+ for a price you won't find anywhere else.
Mindfulness Plus+ is our premium membership that includes everything you need to learn mindfulness and keep practicing throughout all stages of life.
Take this exclusive offer to further your mindfulness skills and experience deeper levels of well-being.
Annual membership
$0
Just a small sample of the life-changing 5-star reviews we get on a daily basis.
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
- EJ
Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
- Gina, Plus+ Member
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
-
Thank you for joining us
Dive into the full library and enjoy all it has to offer!
Claim your free access
Create a mindfulness account and we’ll unlock this premium session in your account forever.
7-Days free trial, cancel anytime.
Complete a few quick questions to make your own personalized mindfulness plan.
Sign up or login to your mindfulness account to proceed.
Sign up or login to your mindfulness account to proceed.
Mindfulness
One membership to gain access to a world of premium mindfulness content created to help you live happier and stress less.