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The Joy of 'No'

Melli O'Brien



Melli O'Brien



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The Joy of 'No'

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, we're going to talk about the power

of giving yourself permission to say no.

So as we're going about life, we are

pulled and pressured by the forces

around us, by other people's opinions

and desires, what they want from you,

by pressures at work, policies of

governments, We're pulled around by

the distractions of technology, the

influences of media and societal norms.

Now we also have internal forces that yank

us around, such as the inner critic, the

pressures that we place on ourselves in

the forms of our shoulds and should nots.

Plus, we also have the ancient

conditioning of the human mind

that kind of compels us to want to

fit in and be liked at all costs.

All of these pressures can add up

to a lot of stress sometimes and

breed a sense of overwhelm or even

hopelessness sometimes in our lives.

We can feel trapped within the confines of

what we think we need to do, even though a

lot of the time it isn't nourishing us nor

is it authentic to us or making us happy.

Now, of course, some things are not

pleasant, but they just need to get done.

Like if the oil light comes on in your

car, it might not be a fun thing to do,

but it needs tending to, it needs oil.

So there might be quite a few

things like that in your life that,

you know, they just need doing.

There's no avoiding it.

However, giving into all of the

pressures coming at us is living

like a puppet on a string, dancing to

the demands of the world instead of

marching to the beat of your own drum.

So, you know, to live more

authentically and joyfully, we

do really need to remember that

we have the freedom to say no.

For instance, saying, no might take the

form of not running straight to the phone

when it dings or rings if you're doing

something else that's important to you.

It might mean not having a

second drink or even a first one.

Or if you're tired at the end of

the week, it might mean declining

an invitation to go out so that your

body can get the rest that it needs.

And when your inner critic pipes up

and tries to push you to work harder

and stay longer and do over hours at

work, saying no might mean responding

to that in a voice with self-compassion

and reassuring yourself, it's more

important to only work in ways that

feel sustainable and healthy for you.

So it might even take the form of

pushing against the status quo idea

that you're supposed to be busy all

the time and you want to slow your

life down if that feels good for you.

So no saying no sometimes is

a form of saying yes to what's

deepest and truest in you.

It can be not only a form of self

care and self-awareness, but really a

spiritual practice because as you learn

to live with more intentionality, you're

learning to live with more awareness,

which in turn gradually leads to

much more freedom and peace of mind.

So thank you for your practice

and your presence here.

And let's settle in now

for today's meditation.

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