Hey, welcome back to your Daily Mindfulness. In today's session, we're going to talk about letting go and how the moment before release is often when we grip the strongest. The first time I saw the truth of this came during a meditation retreat. I had been practicing for a couple of months and my teacher encouraged me to extend my sitting meditation to two hours at a time instead of just one hour and to do that six times per day. Sitting for that length of time, created a lot of pain in my body.

I often needed to shift my posture. And if I'm being honest, often needed to get up before the two hours. It was very intense for me. And the more the pain increased, the more I tried to grit my teeth through it. But the gritting my teeth just led to more tension and more resistance, but it was the resistance to the pain that willl cause me to end up giving up.

But there was one meditation where I told myself that no matter what happens, I'm not going to move. And my perspective was, even if I die in this pain, I will stay still. A little extreme. Of course, as I got past the first hour, the pain kicked up big time, but I stayed with it. It got worse, I stayed with.

It felt like it was burning, stabbing, vibrating throughout my body, but I stayed with it. I felt my body tense. I felt a grip, sweat pouring down my face, but I just kept telling myself that even if you die, you don't move. And obviously I didn't have that full on perspective, but that's what I was trying to hold as a mentality. So closing on two hours, the pain was radiating throughout my body.

It was searing and almost felt like I was on fire. There was a part of me that kept saying, you can't do this anymore. You got to get up. But that voice kept saying, stay with it, stay with it. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

And it just felt like too much. Just as I was about to getm give in, I stayed with it for one more moment. And all I remember is the thought, just take me. And just like that, the pain dissolved, the resistance dissolved, the pain went away. There was a warmth and ease throughout my body.

And I was enveloped with this incredibly deep peace. I went from extreme pain to extreme ease. I think much of our life is learning to let go of control. And for me, this was that first experience to deep surrender. Some things in life are easier to surrender to, and other things are more difficult.

I'm not sure what you're working with specifically, but I just want to remind you that the, often the final moments before we let go is when we will hold on the tightest. It's the ego's last ditch effort to try to maintain some semblance of control, but it can't hold on forever. So see if you can stay with those moments a little longer. Take a deep breath, and eventually you'll find that something in you releases. And also key to remember, surrender is not weakness.

It's the ultimate strength and it comes with the reward of deep peace and ease. So try this out. Thank you for your practice and take care.