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The Wrong Side of Right

Melli O'Brien

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Melli O'Brien

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The Wrong Side of Right

Personalized support for learning how to integrate mindfulness into your life. Delivered fresh everyday by our world renowned experts. Choose meditation duration:

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness.

Today, we're going to talk about

being on the wrong side of right.

So one big trap many of us repeatedly

fall into when we're talking with

others is focusing, in even just a

subtle way, on proving ourselves to be

right instead of focusing on achieving

our true outcome in the moment.

So while in our heart our true outcome

might be, for instance, finding a

solution to a problem, resolving an

issue, learning to understand each

other better, learning more about a

particular topic, sometimes our ego gets

in the way and just digs in its heels

on proving its own point at any cost.

That is what I would call being

on the wrong side of right.

Once we start trying to prove

ourselves right, we often lose

touch with our true outcome.

We might start to get very

tense mentally and physically.

That's always a sign.

And we unconsciously hold onto

any ideas and evidence that

reinforces our own beliefs.

And we dismiss anything

that goes against it.

So in other words, we lose the ability to

truly listen and be objective and learn.

So when this happens, it is no longer

about getting the true outcome anymore.

It's about protecting

and defending our ego.

So when we're on the wrong side

of right, arguments often ensue,

resentments and distrust tend to build,

disconnection often happens and we

lose precious opportunities to solve

problems, resolve issues, understand,

grow, and connect with each other.

So the next time you find yourself

really feeling that urge to be right,

see if you can pause for a moment

and soften the need to be right.

And then connect with what

your highest intention, your

true outcome is in that moment.

In other words, what is that

intention, that deepest desire

for that particular conversation.

As Richard Carlson once said, "If you

choose being kind over being right,

then you'll be right every time."

So thank you for your practice.

I wish you well with this and let's

settle in for today's meditation.

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