Three Steps for Any Dilemma

Hi, and welcome to your Daily Mindfulness. Today I'm going to share with you three steps that you can use to meet any dilemma in your life with mindfulness. So we all encounter difficult dilemmas in life at one point or another. You know, do I stay in this job or do I leave? Do I have this difficult conversation or do I not? Should I move? Should I stay? Do I take this path or that path? So what can happen when we're faced with dilemmas is that we can easily spend our days just endlessly ruminating and worrying about them and try to figure them out. And often what happens is we make ourselves really stressed in the process.

So here's how mindfulness can help us find a more empowering way through any dilemma in our life. Step one, practice, compassionate acceptance. So, if you are facing a big dilemma in your life at the moment, it's really important to know that these situations are really a normal part of life. So can you make room for the reality that right now, you simply don't know all the answers? Can you bring a gentle acceptance to the fact that this is how it is for you right now, rather than struggling with the way things are? Your compassionate acceptance of this situation will allow you to kind of just soften that inner turmoil and make some space for clarity and peace of mind to emerge. Step two, practice constructive problem solving.

And here's a metaphor to explain what constructive problem solving is. So professors at university hold office hours once or twice a week they do not give their students 24/7 access to them because if they did, it would become so overwhelming and debilitating. They wouldn't be able to get their work done. Likewise, if we give our worries and our ruminations 24/7 access to our attention, it's just as debilitating. We can't focus properly.

We start drowning in stress and anxiety and negativity. So what if like those professors, we set up office hours for our problem solving? Or, what if we make a deal with ourselves to set aside a brief amount of time every day or every week to do some focused thinking about the pros and cons of various choices and explore all the possible paths ahead. That's constructive problem solving. Step three, name the story and let it go. Now, even if you decide that you're going to practice office hours, the mind is going to try and pull you back into rumination about the dilemma again and again.

Knowing that this is not helpful and only creates more in a turmoil, you can practice naming the story each time it arises and then letting it go. For instance, If you catch yourself ruminating about the dilemma, you can mentally say to yourself, ah, here it is again, the, should I stay or should I go story? Now you can name your story, whatever you want, but once you name the story mentally, you just let it go and remind yourself that you're making time later in the day or later in the week for office hours where you're going to do constructive problem solving. So by practicing the mindful way through your dilemma, you'll ease your stress, find greater mental clarity and greater wisdom for the path ahead. As always thank you for your practice and your presence here with us. And let's settle in now for today's meditation.