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How Mindfulness Leads to Happiness

Cory Muscara

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How Mindfulness Leads to Happiness

Mindfulness leads to a different kind of happiness than we're used to.

Well today, I am actually going to share a

quote with you from my good friend, Scott

Barry Kaufman, that I think brilliantly

encapsulates a mindfulness meditation,

and one of the great features of it.

I'll talk more about that in a moment.

First, let's start with tuning into

the sound of the bells, making this our

short 15 seconds of meditation together.

Listen to the sound, follow it all the

way until it dissolves into silence.

So I'm going to read

you this quote by Scott.

Scott Barry Kaufman is a professor

at Barnard College, Columbia,

formerly professor at U Penn.

He's a, a good friend, a big voice

in the psychology world, runs the

psychology podcast and he's a

brilliant mind and he's a budding

meditator and he wrote this.

This is actually a tweet from I think a

couple months ago, actually a month ago.

And, well, I'll just read it to you.

He says, "Mindfulness meditation is a

matter of rewiring your brain so that

instead of primarily being rewarded

by the possibility of reward, you

are intrinsically rewarded by all of

the beauty that already exists at any

given moment, right in front of your

eyes or in your rich imagination."

Whoa.

Okay.

I think I'll read that again for

you so that we can let it sink in.

There's a lot there that on the

surface it might just sound like

a nice soothing quote, but it's

pointing to something really deep and

meaningful about what the practice of

mindfulness does to the mind over time.

And in this case, he's

pointing to the brain.

So he says, "Mindfulness meditation

is a matter of rewiring your brain

so that instead of primarily being

rewarded by the possibility of reward,"

instead of being rewarded by the

possibility of reward, this meaning

like something in the future will happen

and then we'll be happy, instead of

that, you're intrinsically rewarded.

Intrinsically rewarded from the inside

out, not based on external variables.

Intrinsically rewarded by all of the

beauty that already exists at any

given moment, right in front of your

eyes or in your rich imagination.

So if we.

I think of a moment of mindfulness,

let's just say a moment of

meditation, the way we practice.

The kind of happiness and fulfillment

that we're cultivating is very

different than what we're used

to pursuing in day-to-day life.

Instead of trying to get someplace

else or change our experience, we're

learning to relax into experience,

to settle into this moment, however

it is, and letting the peace come

out of not resisting experience.

And so this quote, when he's saying

we're rewiring the brain so that

instead of primarily being rewarded

by the possibility of reward,

that idea is how we typically

find happiness in day-to-day life.

The, the possibility of reward, the

possibility of something happening

outside of me or in a future moment

that will meet the blueprint for

what I want this moment to look like.

And we can go our entire lives

pursuing that kind of happiness.

And it's, it is actually a

form of happiness, right?

There are many people that have lived

great lives like that, where you set a

goal, or something you're working toward.

And when you get that, there's

a little bit of fulfillment.

Then you adjust and then you set

another goal and you move toward that.

And you can kind of just go

through that cycle in life.

But it's, it's very transient.

Or because experience is transient,

there's no like real lasting

satisfaction in it, and we're

always kind of chasing something.

So a lot of people that eventually

come to meditation and come because

they're looking for something

deeper and Scott's quote is

pointing to that something deeper.

Instead of that kind of happiness

being rewarded by the possibility

of reward, you're intrinsically

rewarded by all of the beauty that

already exists at any given moment.

And that comes from training.

That is the power of the meditation

practice, where we, we soften all

of the resistances we typically

have to the moment, the way it is.

And when we soften that we get to,

our mind expands in such a way that

we can hold the, the many dimensions

of what are here, including pain,

discomfort, but also gratitude and joy.

And like all of that can actually

exist sometimes in a single moment,

many different flavors and where

we're intrinsically drawn to

experience the fullness of that.

The many dimensions of that, which

I think, starting out seems weird.

When I at least was getting into

these practices, I was always

thinking, like, why would I be drawn

to experience the fullness of life,

specifically the painful parts?

Like, I'm just, I, I want to

be present so that I don't

have to experience those parts.

But the deeper I've gone into

my practice, the more I've

appreciated, the, the certain kind

of wholeness I get to experience

when I open up to those dimensions.

And that's come from the wisdom

of seeing that the more I

fight them, they don't go away.

It's not like I push away sadness.

And then it's like, Oh, now there's joy.

It just doesn't work like that.

So there's some recognition

that happens over time.

Like these experiences are often

like gravity, you could fight them

and get angry that they're there,

but they're still going to be there.

So, eventually you need to learn

to walk with it and move with them.

But it's not just like an

acceptance of these experiences.

We really can start to value and

appreciate all of these layers of

our humanness and sadness, and even

our moments of grief as painful

as it is, there can be this soft

appreciation of Whoa, this is like,

I'm really experiencing the full

experience of this human life.

And as much as we might hate it and

resist it and want to get out of it,

there can be, yes, and an appreciation

for what it means to show up for that.

And the tenderization

that that can happen.

The way that that can soften us, dropping

us into more states of connection,

receptivity, vulnerability, these come

when we decompensate, when we stop

trying to be something else or have a

different experience than what's here.

And then were intrinsically

rewarded by all of the beauty

that already exists at any given

moment, right in front of our eyes.

And that's what this quote is pointing to.

Mindfulness meditation, as a matter

of rewiring your brain so that

instead of primarily being rewarded

by the possibility of reward, you

are intrinsically rewarded by all of

the beauty that already exists at any

given moment, right in front of your

eyes or in your rich imagination.

So ponder that today.

As you go throughout your day, notice if

you are caught up in the happiness that's

dependent on the possibility of reward.

And instead, just see if you

could take a breath and relax

into this moment as it is.

Deep fulfillment does not come

from chasing a future moment.

It comes from settling in and

relaxing into this moment as it is.

So let's all thank Scott Barry

Kaufman for this great quote.

You could go follow him

on Twitter or Facebook.

Send him a nice message.

He's a great human being, hugely

humble and curious and brilliant.

So thank you, Scott.

Okay.

That's it.

Talk to you soon.

Take care.

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