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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Duration
In this session, Tara shows us how to stop burying the gold of your true nature beneath fear, judgement, and confusion.
So there are two main pathways if you
want to cultivate that trust in the
gold, if you want to live from the gold.
And if you think of all the spiritual
practices and you can kind of
divide into two main pathways.
And one of the pathways is just
bringing a compassionate presence
to exactly what's here right now.
Whatever's here.
And the second pathway, I think that the
first pathway is you start right where you
are, the second pathway is intentionally
looking towards the goodness.
We're going to, we're going
to practice with them both.
So I'll start with the first one,
and that is we start where we are.
So wherever, let's say right now in
your life you feel what's between me
and really trusting my own goodness,
or what's between me and being
able to trust and see this person's
goodness, that's where we start.
And there's a, several parts of
the mythology of the Buddha that
are really very profound in terms
of their psychological and deep
spiritual healing potential.
And one of them, many of you are
familiar with this, the story of
how the Buddha had these repeated
encounters with the God Mara and Mara
was the God of the shadow energies.
Mara was the God of greed and
hatred and delusion and fear,
all the places where we're caught
in our coverings and reactive.
So when the Buddha would be teaching,
sometimes he'd be in a field outside a
village and people would have gathered
and he'd be teaching and Mara would start
skirting around the edges of the field.
And the Buddha's loyal attendant
and cousin, Ananda, would get
really disturbed, like, oh
no, Mara's here, you know..
But the Buddha was actually quite
relaxed and he'd just say, it's okay.
It's okay.
And he'd go right over to Mara
and say, "I see you, Mara.
Come let's have tea."
Come let's have tea.
Thich Nhat Hanh actually popularized this.
This expresses the first pathway.
We start right where we
are with Mara appearing.
All the, the doubts and
fears and reactivities that
make us not trust ourselves.
We just start there.
And seeing Mara is the
wing of mindfulness.
I see you.
I see this.
In RAIN, it's recognizing and allowing.
Okay, this is here and
then let's have tea.
We investigate and we nurture.
We befriend, tend and befriend.
This is the pathway of
starting where we are.
And I can say for myself,
it's been a primary way of
waking up through the decades.
It's the primary thing I teach often.
And I remember one of my early
episodes or experiences of having tea
with Mara in my early twenties, that
was specifically around mistrust.
And I was at that time living in a
spiritual community, in an ashram.
And I've been going through a hard time
and was feeling very alienated from
the community and very down on myself.
And part of it was we had this idea
of purity that we were trying to
spiritually grow and that the ego is
bad and we were trying to transcend the
ego, something I don't believe anymore.
But I was very fixed on how terrible
my ego was, how selfish I was and
self-absorbed I was, and I put myself
first and how competitive I was, you know.
This is a yoga ashram and I, how
much I was kind of felt like a
show off that I wanted to look good
with my, how well I could do yoga.
And so there's a lot of
pride and shame and so on.
So, If you think of the statue
of the golden Buddha, I was
really seeing the coverings.
I was stuck in the coverings.
I was hating my coverings.
So you get the idea.
So I was part of a woman's group of our
community, and I remember confessing
that I really didn't trust myself.
I did not believe I was a good person,
which was a pretty vulnerable disclosure.
And I have no idea what the response was.
I don't remember that part.
I just remember going back to my
room and I was pretty cracked open.
And usually when I would be
feeling terrible, I would just
start doing vigorous yoga.
And that was my way of trying
to get everything realigned.
But I didn't this time.
I just kind of stayed with what was,
and you could see the unfolding of
RAIN, recognize, allow, investigate,
nurture in how it happened, that
I just got it that, okay, this is
a cracking open, let it happen.
And I investigated and under all my
judgments, I could, I came right to
that core of shame, that in some way,
any indicator of ego meant I was bad.
And that's a really painful thing
because a lot of us have that.
That we see these human imperfect
egos with their self-centeredness
or aggressions, and we own
it, we think, oh, that's me.
I'm that.
And so that's what I was
getting in touch with.
And I started opening to the waves I was
investigating and feeling in my body,
the waves of shame, and it became grief.
You know, I could really feel this,
this grieving that I wasn't able to
feel connection cause I felt so bad.
And that led to the N of RAIN, nurturing.
I was actually just kind of, I remember
kind of hugging myself and just rocking
and it was just a sense of caring
about the pain, caring about the pain.
And afterwards, I got really quiet,
really still and just felt larger.
It was like the waves, I could still
sense the waves of the ego and the
thoughts and the feelings there.
But in that stillness, there was more of a
sense of this background of, of quietness
and openness and tenderness and presence.
What you might say I could sense the
ocean, you know, and really sense that
this was more the truth of who I was than
any of those changing egoic expressions.
And this is the point that when
we start right where we are and we
stay present, we feel the waves,
but we open back to the ocean.
We remember the gold.
We remember more the who we
really are, and then there's
room for the changing waves.
And it's so important if you're
somebody that practices RAIN not to
end with just the N and nurture, but
then notice the presence that opens up.
Sense okay, this is, this is a taste of
the gold because the more you get familiar
with it, the more you'll trust it.
That's the bottom line.
The more, you get a taste of that presence
and tenderness, that's more homecoming
and truth than any story you ever said
about yourself or told about yourself.
I really think of RAIN as it dissolves
the opaqueness of the covering, lets
the, it lets the gold shine through.
Let's practice for a few moments.
We're going to do a short practice
of bringing RAIN to self-doubt.
And this is just a taste.
Please come back, circle back, go deeper
when you have more time on your own.
But take a moment if you've been
sitting real still, you might want
to move or stretch a little and
then come back into stillness.
And when you settle again, using the
breath to collect your attention.
So you bring yourself
right here in your body.
Just feel this breathing body.
Maybe do a little letting go
of areas of obvious tightness.
And you might scan a bit through
your life and sense that inquiry
of, oh what's between me and
really trusting my goodness.
And you might find that there's
something you're blaming yourself for.
Maybe something that's very
specific or just more of a kind of
amorphous sense of falling short.
Maybe something going on in a
relationship right now that brings up
mistrust or self doubt or self aversion.
Something at work.
Maybe something to do with your health.
Maybe something to do with
addiction, whatever it is.
And know that there's no
right thing to pick right now.
You're just practicing a little.
You're practicing starting
where you are with what's right
here to awaken to the gold.
So choose something, choose someplace
where you, some situation where you end
up being down on yourself, mistrusting
yourself, being caught in the covering.
Small.
And bring the situation close in so
you kind of are seeing what happens
right at the point where you get most
triggered, where you end up really getting
tight and feeling bad about yourself.
Where the, the inner judge or
inner critic's voice might get
loud or the feelings, a sinking
feeling, the shame, anger.
Just notice what's there.
And RAIN begins.
The R's just to recognize.
Okay, so this is what's
happening right now.
And you might name whatever
emotion feels strongest right now.
Just mentally whisper it.
The A's allow, just let it be there.
The I, investigate.
And again, we're not, we're doing this
more briefly, is to just sense how it's
experienced right now in your body.
But you might start by just saying,
well, what am I believing about myself?
Just so you kind of bring into
awareness the belief itself,
maybe there's a core belief.
I'm failing, I'm unlovable.
I'm not doing things right.
I should be doing more.
Something's not okay.
And whatever the belief is, see if
you can feel in your body what it's
like when you're believing the belief.
Feel your throat, your chest, your belly.
And it sometimes helps just to
put your hand on your heart, just
to start accompanying yourself.
And this is actually beginning
nurturing, where you're breathing
and feeling what's here.
You're feeling the
waves of the experience.
Okay, this is how it feels when
I'm caught in the coverings,
when I'm forgetting the gold.
Sinking feeling, maybe anxious, maybe
fearful, maybe angry, but breathe with
it and start offering some kindness.
Rumi says, "Don't turn away, keep
your gaze on the wounded place.
That's where the light enters you."
So bring the attention to the
wounded place, the place that feels,
in some way, you're not enough.
And let your intention be to
bathe that place with care.
Just imagine the light of the
universe is shining through
you, is feeding you with care.
That your own future self that
knows, that's wise, your awake
heart is holding you with care.
Or that somebody you trust
and love is, they're energies
holding you, but let love in.
And there may be a message from your
highest self, from your future self,
from wisdom, from the benevolence
in the universe, a message.
And just sense what you
can send to yourself.
And take some moments to just notice
the quality of presence that's here.
You might sense if you can taste
more of the gold, more of that
awareness, that tenderness that's
bigger than any of the stories.
Sense the presence of your awake heart.
And if you'd like to journal for a moment,
you just, from your own high self, just
send a message, just write down something.
What does it mean for
me to trust the gold?
How does the gold express
through this body mind.
Let your future self or high
self remind you of the gold?
May be just a fewer words.
Remember that you care.
Remember your honesty.
Remember that you love,
love, that you love truth.
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Vidyamala’s tips on catching anger as it’s happening or about to happen are great - clear, practical, and doable.
- Vicoir
The little talks before the meditations are priceless. It's like I've found my peeps. The topics, the quotes, the goals—it all makes so much sense to me, things I want to be thinking and learning about. Most importantly, the meditations are kindness-centered, which I love. It feels like a new way to approach meditation.
- Lauren
Incredible, easy to navigate app. I would highly recommend this app to anyone who wishes to reduce stress and anxiety or simply as an aid to improve overall mental health.
- Kirtus
I love how the app gives me pointers to new things to explore.
- Lydia
So calm and soothing. I love the new bundle with Kelly Boys, she’s brilliant!
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Better than Headspace. I've had the paid version of both apps, and I must say I enjoy this one better.
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I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
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I am very new to meditation, and am so happy that my first introduction to it has been through this app
The first session was fantastic. I feel safe. And supported. Almost like having someone helping me through my difficult time. I’m very grateful for this app.
- Babi
You get a lot of useful tips for handling stress and anxiety in 'real life'.
- Joy
Highly recommend.
- Humanfrst
Kelly Boys is hands down the best. Everytime I click on one of her guided meditations I get excited for the calmness that lies ahead.
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