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How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners
10 Science-Backed Benefits of Meditation
What is Meditation?
Benefits of Mindfulness: Mindful Living Can Change Your Life
Mindfulness 101: A Beginner's Guide
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Mark shares how loving awareness can free us from negative thoughts and incline us towards that which is beautiful and uplifting.
Hello, Mark Coleman here.
I've been asked to answer the
question, When I focus on my negative
thoughts I just become more anxious.
How do I work with this?
First, thank you for your question and
know that you're definitely not alone.
When we focus on a negative thoughts,
negativity, it's quite natural that
we often feel distressed, anxious,
nervous, triggered, unsettled.
And in this larger conversation about
working with the critic, a significant
part of those negative thoughts
can be our judgemental thoughts.
And often when we're beating
ourselves up, when we're criticizing
ourselves, we become more anxious,
more perturbed, more worried.
I remember when I first started
meditating, I had a fair amount of
anxiety, but particularly a lot of
thoughts, a lot of negative thoughts.
I noticed a lot of judgmental thoughts,
a lot of self-deprecating thoughts.
And then of course, I would
project those out onto the world.
A lot of judgment and blame towards
the government, towards other
people, towards institutions.
Just a lot of negativity.
And I noticed that caused me to feel quite
disturbed, anxious, upset, irritated.
And of course, listening to my mind, to my
judging mind, just made that feel worse.
Reminding me all the things I wasn't
doing, all of the ways I wasn't
enough, all of the things I should
be doing or could be doing better.
And I feel very grateful to have
learned a particular teaching that
I learned from my Buddhist practice.
And it's a line from the Buddha that goes
like this, "Whatever the mind frequently
dwells and ponders upon that becomes the
inclination of the mind and the heart."
Whatever the mind frequently dwells
and ponders upon that becomes the
inclination of the mind and the heart.
Basically whatever we're attending
to, which is really the basis of
neuroplasticity, whatever we're
attending to, what we attend to and how
we attend to it really significantly
affects our brain and our wellbeing.
So as I started developing mindfulness
practice, I realized most of the
time, my mind was oriented to negative
thoughts as the question is asking
about, but also negativity in general.
I would look at what's wrong in
myself, in the world, in people, in
society, in government, in politics.
And that just created a lot of
agitation and anxiety and sadness.
And so there were two things
that I learned from that.
One is mindfulness helps you understand
the content of your mind, whether the
thoughts are negative or positive,
constructive or not, critical or not.
And that I had agency over
where I placed my attention.
Just because a negative thought
arises doesn't mean we need
to give it a lot of attention.
We can just notice, Oh, look at that.
Thinking's happening.
Negative thinking's happening.
Negative bias is happening.
Negative perspective on
the world is happening.
And with that, with that
awareness, we have some choice.
We can continue going down that negative
thought, negative pathway and perspective.
Or we can shift our attention.
One of the practices that I teach
about working with the critic is
what's called a replacing practice
.Every time that you judge yourself.
Oh, you're so lazy, or, no one's going
to love you, or, look at your life, it's
pathetic or whatever the judgments are.
You replace that judgment
with, oh, and may I be happy.
Oh, may I be peaceful.
May I be free from judgment.
And so you're shifting the attention from
the negative thought to something more
constructive, more kind, more positive.
So when I learned that practice of
inclining my attention away from
negativity, from reactivity, away
from negative thoughts and perspective
and incline my attention towards
that, which was beautiful and that
which was uplifting, that which was
calming, focusing on the goodness
of people or the goodness of myself
or the beautiful things around me,
then I noticed the anxiety softened.
And I started to see myself in the
world with new eyes with more positive,
more appreciative perspective.
So that's one thing you can do is
bring mindfulness to your thoughts,
noticing whether they're negative or
positive, critical or constructive.
Acknowledging them.
Then shifting your attention to
something that's more easeful.
And if you are anxious of course,
then we want to bring a kind,
loving awareness to that feeling.
You might notice where you
feel the anxiety in the body.
Perhaps in the breath, tightness in
the throat, fluttering in the belly.
And then again, inclining your attention
to something which helps ground you.
Maybe feeling your feet on the floor,
somewhere in the body that feels calm.
Maybe your legs or your hands,
or your shift, your attention to
something in this space around you
look out the window, listen to sounds.
Something that allows
that anxiety to calm.
And then you keep orienting towards that,
which is supporting a sense of wellbeing
rather than going to the negative
thoughts that keep spiraling the anxiety.
And the important thing to notice is
we do have that capacity to choose
our response in any moment, to decide
whether we go down the same tunnel of
negative thinking, which causes in your
case anxiety or negativity or fear.
To notice that, to release the
thought and to come back to
something that's more wholesome,
more supportive of your wellbeing.
Like a phrase of loving kindness, like
listening to sounds, like focusing
on the task at hand rather than
being stuck in the negative thoughts.
And of course, one of those main facets
of negative thinking is the critic.
And so we want to really pay attention
to when that's happening, to notice it,
to acknowledge it and then to let it go.
So again, thank you for this question
and I hope these responses allow you some
different ways to work with the anxiety
that comes from the negative thoughts.
And lastly, just to remember to be kind
and gentle in your practice and to enjoy
your practice as much as you're able.
Thank you.
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