We’ve all had the experience of having such strong emotions that we feel totally out of control. Something happens, or someone says something, and we instantly react. Our heart rate goes up. We get tunnel vision. We can’t think or communicate clearly, and we often respond impulsively.

Whether it’s fear, rage, anxiety, or spiraling negative thoughts—in moments like these, it feels less like we’re experiencing emotions and more like we are the emotions. It’s difficult to see our way out of the chaos and drama.

A simple practice called Name It to Tame It can help.

Name It to Tame It is a technique that involves noticing and labeling emotions as they’re happening. Identifying an intense emotion (“naming”) has the effect of reducing the stress and anxiety (“taming”) in the brain and the body that that emotion is causing.

In addition to in-the-moment relief, this practice also strengthens our capacity over time to be with big emotions when they arise, without getting swept up in them.

Name It to Tame It has long-term benefits for developing a healthy and mindful relationship with what we’re feeling.

The more we practice being aware of our emotions and how we experience them in our bodies, the more we come to understand the nature of our emotions: where they come from, what triggers them, how they affect us.

We start to recognize patterns. We begin to notice the old stories that are associated with certain situations. We’re less pulled around by our experiences and reactions, trying to fight or overcome them. Instead, we start to see, with greater compassion, what our emotional responses are trying to teach us.

The Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hanh said of this type of practice: “Mindfulness is touching, recognizing, greeting, and embracing. It does not fight or suppress. When it recognizes anger, mindfulness says, ‘Hello there, my anger, I know you are there. I will take good care of you, don’t worry.’”

Name It to Tame It allows us to “take good care” of our intense emotions by accepting them rather than criticizing them. And paradoxically, it’s the recognition and the acceptance that makes room for the intensity to cool.

Name It to Tame It is an incredibly useful skill to teach children, and it can be a wonderful tool that parents and teachers can use to help kids learn to regulate their emotions and overcome negative thoughts.

Dr. Seigel points out that one key component of using NITTI with kids is to first connect before you redirect.

We first have to acknowledge what children are feeling, using words of comfort. You might hug a child and say something like, “That sounds tough. Being a kid is hard sometimes, isn’t it?” This will signal to their bodies that they’re safe and that it’s okay to relax.

You don’t want to tell them what they’re feeling, because you want them to be able to recognize how their emotions feel in their bodies. But you can ask them what they’re noticing in their bodies, and you might offer an observation: “I wonder if you’re feeling really sad.”

When they’ve identified their strong emotion, you can walk them through the steps and breathing exercises above.

As Dr. Siegel explains, “When big, right-brain emotions are raging out of control, help your child tell the story about what's upsetting them. In doing so, he'll use his left brain to make sense of his experience and feel more in control."